Don't Eat That

Since I am a day late and as always a dollar short, I’m kicking off he blog-writing-fest tonight by telling you a few tidbits of information.  Yes I know, it’s not Monday and I didn’t tell you any more last week then I have prior til now.  OOPS!

Here’s the scoop.  I haven’t gained any weight and I have had a substantial amount of milkshakes.  As it is, I’ve injured my jaw that I had surgery on in November and I can’t eat much of anything.  For the most part, today’s news from the oral surgeon came with “not even noodles” and no “sucking thick shakes through a straw”.  Great, that’s all I’ve done lately. 

So, I will just put a pack of spoons in my bag…by Go Gaga Bag by the way, have you all seen it?

Because I can and do pack a big punch is this here bag and found myself laughing til I almost peed my pants tonight when my husband declared that a “handbag” is no place for a toothbrush.  Well, who says?

I mean, really, it’s not like I had a full toothbrush and toothpaste in there…who needs it when these Wisps are so easy to toss in the bag?

Anyway, that’s no where near where this post was going.  It was going to the mailman.  Yea I know, I’m warped.  Yesterday, the mailman had a package that I had to sign to even receive.  And in that package…..Your Shape by Jenny McCarthy.

So, now it is on people.  I have EASports and I have Your Shape.  Once my mouth is better so I”m not suffering daily with a monster headache (hopefully after tomorrow), I will get moving…..get my booty moving you hear me?

Watch out world, your gonna see me working out……*shutters*

*****Post written in multiple places, be prepared for jumping around…you might even lose weight that way….although I wouldn’t count on it.****

Ok, so I started a post on Education Uncensored and if you want to know how it all came to be about the following, you’ll need to jump over there, read down to the part where it instructs you to jump back to here and then go back there for the grand finale. 

Sound like a major pain in the butt?  Yea, it is but mostly a pain in my jaws….but we’ll get to that. At last week’s tally I had lost 16 pounds and not one soul noticed.  By the end of the week I was down a total of 20 pounds.  This post is late because yesterday when I weight, I had managed to find 4 of those and return those to my body.  Lovely! 

But now, now I”m looking at some bigger issues of how to gain weight, not lose it.  You see, here I am, torn cartilage in my jaws which has rendered me almost as helpless as my broken leg did.  I mean, you can use crutches or a walker (in my case) to get around with a broken bone and generally, you don’t have this feeling in your whole body of just general run over opossum.  And, to answer my cousin’s question, no indeed, I do not smell like road kill.

However, my jaws started to flare up about 2 or 3 months ago and of course everyone chalked it up to tension, stress, gritting and grinding my teeth.  But, I had already paid a small fortune for the diagnosis of a “grinder” and had a mouthpiece made to help with this.  So, now what? 

For 2 months or more, I’ve worn this stinking mouth piece day and night.  I take it out to eat, to brush my teeth and the appliance and to talk on the phone.  Talking in person is not so bad, people can generally make out what I’m saying.  But on the phone, I sound much like one big drug slur. 

And, still, no relief.  I saw an oral surgeon last week.  I had a test run the next day.  I saw him for results today.  And, the diagnosis?  Torn cartilage in my jaws. 

The answer?  There are several but the most obvious place to start is with cortisone shots.  Because hey, I’ve just lost almost 20 pounds, let’s go get some steroids shot up in us and see how long it takes to gain it back.

I am part of a team of EASports folks but because of my broken leg which I not even been given the all clear for major exercises, I’ve only been doing static exercises.  But, it’s amazing what static exercises and a change in diet (regardless of whether you simply decide to watch what you eat or your jaws hurt so bad that you don’t want to bother), the weight will start to dissipate. 

And the proud kicks in.  But, then, you look, 16 pounds gone and not one person has noticed.  How in the heck did that happen?  How do you lose 16 pounds, 20 now and no one notices?  According to my husband, you wear baggy clothes and pj’s all the time and no one can tell.

***************Jump back to the Education Uncensored story and then it will tell you when to come back here and finish!**************

Anyway, back to where I was going with this originally.  I have torn cartilage in my jaws.  Tomorrow, I will be sedated and this horrible steroid shots will be injected into my jaws and I, I hope to be a new woman in a week.  If not, then I get another set of these beauties.  And then, hopefully, I am back to being a chatterbox, verbally, not just with my fingers, and all is well for a period of time.

However, if no results come from these shots that are almost too painful to even think about, I will have jaw surgery.  Hey, that could render me losing some weight.  But….that’s not exactly what I had in mind either.

Now, honestly, I want and need to lose some weight.  And, if you’ve seen a photo of my face, you know that it is is swollen most of the time, here let me show you…

Notice that MY right is much worse than my left.  I have torn cartilage in both places but the right is worse.  And, the oral surgeon confirmed today that some (and of course he couldn’t know for sure) but some of that swelling could be from the torn cartilage.  I mean, duh, you get swelling in your knee’s when you tear cartilage, right?

And, normally, normally as in, in the past, when I have lost weight, my face is the first place to show the loss and the last place to show the gain.  But, this time, no loss was noticeable and possibly we know why now. 

And so the saga continues…2009…there’s just not much left for me to say other than…you suck….

For the remainder of this story, you’ll have to jump back over to Education Uncensored.  Sorry!

Yes, indeed, I give you 7 pounds…or more like someone gave me 7 pounds.  Sound impossible?  It does to me as well.  But, as hoped aboard the scales this morning, my eyes bulged from my head right before big tears of hate poured onto the floor.  How is this possible?

Yes, my foot still has me in physical therapy mode but I’ve cheated some and did a few odds and ends to up my activity level just to see how my foot would fair.  And, I only had one major breakdown last week when my husband brought home a milkshake and I simply couldn’t leave it to melt.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

So, up 7 pounds, I don’t know, I”m pretty disgusted and hope that very soon I can move into the EASports with a big bang instead of these little therapy sessions which apparently are strengthening my leg and ankle but doggone it, I need to give YOU 7 pounds, not the other way around.

I’ve spent the last several days on my feet.  And just ask my leg that I had surgery on and it will tell you that indeed, I did too much.  I go back to the doctor tomorrow but I still walk with a horrible limp.  I know I sound like such a wimp but honestly, I just don’t know what to make of it all.

In the meantime, I’ve managed to twist the other ankle a total of 4 times, the last one being on Friday and it is swollen.  Is it bad? No, it isn’t broken.  Does it hurt?  Yea, a little.  Now what?  I wish I knew.

I have no clue what the good doctor will tell me tomorrow but I will most definitely keep you posted.  I honestly don’t look to be released and ready for action since I am still limping so much but you never know, stranger things have happened.

Actually, it is more like August 2nd and pushing really close into August 3rd.  Why is that?  Well, I have on internet at home and the fast food places turn their wireless off when they close at night (just kidding, I’ve not stayed that long in any one place just yet).  I should have internet service no later than Tuesday afternoon so when you read this, I will surely be moved on to another topic.  Hopefully because really, I’ve beaten this dead horse to the pits of hell.

So, am I part of the 30 day challenge on EASports as of August 1st?  Resoundingly the answer is still no.  I have managed, by some stroke of luck (and lots of carrots) to maintain this weight of 215 which I have bounced from and up to 225 about 10 times since I was diagnosed with thyroid disorders and diabetes.  So, if I can just hang on (and eat more carrots), hopefully the increase in activity level will make a huge difference.

So, with that, what’s my plan?  You know, I always have a plan.  The good news is that my foot is much better.  I actually wore 2 shoes for the past 2.5 weeks with a little black ankle brace and part of the time I even sported a flip flop instead of a tennis shoe.  I go back to the doctor this week and my only issue left to address is that my ankle hurts.

Yea, well that was the issue we were addressing about 7.5 months ago too, eh?  But, in some ways, the ankle seems very weak and I know that part of my problem is shear apprehension that by putting too much weight on it I will cause more pain or even cause it to twist again (which isn’t likely since there’s all kinds of metal in there).  However, a bigger issue in my opinion is the spot where the bone graft was done has a penchant for causing burning sensations and quite painful aches about 95% of the time.

So, what’s a girl to do?  I wait.  I will see the good doctor on Thursday I think and explain the dilemma which I already know he is going to answer with “the graft site has healed, we already saw that on the x-rays” which is all well and good but for some reason, healed is not equaling “pain-free”.

So, I do hope that soon I am on track and I have some other announcements coming in a few days as well….with a few days being relative to when I ever get my internet service back, gah!

Ok, so here we are July 12th and I really thought I was going to be ready by the 15th.  I saw my doctor on Thursday and I have graduated from the cast to this really ugly black thing that I can at least wear a shoe with.  However, I was instructed to stay off the foot as much as possible and to initiate my own physical therapy but to be very very careful.

Gee thanks doc!

And I had this bright idea on Friday night to go to a baseball game – wrong!

Today I decided a trip to the grocery store was in order – wrong!

Now…I’m sitting on my sofa with this ugly black thing on my foot with my shoe on.  I didn’t realize the serious of the words “make sure you wear a shoe” when I graduated out of the cast.  But, having run around the house yesterday (not really running but you know, just general moving around) with the ugly black thing on my foot and no shoe….well, what can I say – wrong!

So, I”m thinking I’m either going to sleep in my shoe or put that big ugly gray boot back on.  Oh the pain…I am going to get the EASports back on and do some static exercises and a bit, and notice I said a “bit” of physical therapy.

The good part about going to the grocery store myself, I got apples, grapes, nectarines, bananas, strawberries, baby carrots and a watermelon instead of snack cakes, Recee’s Cups and pudding.

I’ve lost the same 10  pounds about 8 times in the last 2 years and right now those 10 pounds are MIA and I am going to try to keep it that way.  Because hello, I don’t want to have a heart attack, geeez!

I had planned to really get the EASports challenge in June and work it hard.  And, I did for a few days.  However, in the previous couple of days, I have had extreme pain in my plate and especially where the bone graft was done.

At one point it was hurting so bad when my husband got home from work, I was ready to hit the emergency room.  He talked me into some pain meds and to wait and see what happened.  It helped and I was talked off the limb.

However, after discussing it, even though I was doing everything from the chair on the Challenge, I was keeping the leg in the cast very tense and it simply is not ready for that just 2 weeks post-op.  Add to that some really horrible weather and so I am going to continue to do a few of the challenges and have fun with my family but then re-set the challenge and start once the cast is off and the doctor has given me the go ahead for more than simple rehab.

So, I’ll update you as I go, but keep up and just you wait til I start to kick EASports’ butt.